My Tragedy

I have been walking in cloud nine for these past few weeks. My close friends wud surely know why. Today, I came to realize that because I have been drunk by my own happiness, I wasn’t able to mind my manners and I am not taking care of my dignity the way I should..

There’s this new christian friend of mine ( a guy at that) who told me a while ago that I’m not behaving the way I should lately. I want to thank him for saying that to my face or I wud have gone all the way down to my self destruction. Two years ago, I’ve lost an important friend whom I used to treasure a lot. It was a big mess and I think part of it was my fault too (but mostly it’s his This christian friend told me that he doesn’t want me hurt ,the way I was hurt when that "used to be" precious friend left my life. Then I came to realize that I don’t want that either so I’ll behave properly starting today.

Let me defend my self first, It has been a long time since I’ve felt this unbelievable bliss and I’m not used to it anymore that’s why I’ve been neglecting my conscience again. But the possibility of loosing the source of my happiness is already at bay.. so I’ll mind my self from now on.. I know i’m putting up my self for more dissapointments if I continue to let my self be carried away by this emotion.

IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME KEEP MY OASIS BY MY SIDE… even if I behave properly… there’s this stupid law that prevents me from doing that… yes, a law.. not necessarily passed by the Congress but this law is being observed and followed by a big group of pipol since (i dont really know when, pero matagal na) 1900’s ?

It’s weird that a single self-serving law like that prevents me from going for what wud make me really really hapi (which I HAVE NOT BEEN FOR quite a while) and of course, there’s this issue of our country applying double standard  in everything.

But in the end it all comes down to restraining my self and putting more importance to the use of my mind… i Know… i just want to say sorry if I’m stubborn as a mule sometimes..  I don’t seem to know what’s good for me and I give more importance to my being happy which is not good..

I’ll move away from my oasis… I’ll force my self to do what’s right and to do just that … sad as it may seem…

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 1st, 2007 at 10:18 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.